辛巴威總統(黑人)在雅加達亞非會議中的妙語演講:

辛巴威總統(黑人)在雅加達亞非會議中的妙語演講:
Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe
Quoting from Asia Africa Conference 2015 Jakarta,

Racism will never end as long as white cars are still using black tyres.
只要白色車還在用黑色輪胎, 種族歧視就仍存在。
Racism will never end if people still use black to symbolise bad luck and white for peace.
只要人們仍以黑色代表惡運, 而白色代表和平, 種族歧視就仍存在。
Racism will never end if people still wear white clothes to weddings and
black clothes to funerals.
只要人們仍穿白色衣參加婚禮; 穿黑色衣參加喪禮, 種族歧視就仍存在。
PS：非洲喪禮是著白衣
Racism will never end as long as those who don't pay their bills are blacklisted not whitelisted.
只要賴帳就被列入黑名單, 而非白名單, 種族歧視就仍存在。
Even when playing snooker. You haven't won until you've sunk the black ball,
and the white ball must remain on the table.
就算是打撞球也是以黑球進袋而白球仍在枱面, 種族歧視就仍存在。
But I don't care, so long as I'm still using white toilet paper to wipe my
black ass, I'm fine！
但我無所謂, 只要我仍在用白色衛生紙擦我的黑屁股, 我就很爽！

CLOCKS 時鐘

(看笑話學英語)  CLOCKS 時鐘

Hillary Clinton died and went to Heaven. 
希拉蕊·克林頓死了，去到了天堂。
St. Peter was giving her a tour of Heaven when she noticed that there were dozens of clocks on the wall. 
聖彼得引導她旅遊天堂時，她注意到有幾十個的時鐘在牆壁上，。
Each clock displayed a different time of day.
每個時鐘顯示一天中不同的時間。
When she asked St. Peter about the clocks, he replied, 
當她向聖彼得詢問這些時鐘時，他回答說，“
''We have a clock for each person on earth and every time they tell a lie the hands move.
我們為地球上的每個人備有一個時鐘，每次他們說謊 ,指針就會移動。
The clock ticks off one second each time a lie is told.''
每說一個謊言 ，時鐘錶滴答走一秒 。
Special attention was given to two clocks.
有兩個時鐘特別讓人 注意 。
The clock belonging to Mother Teresa has never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.
屬於德雷莎修女的時鐘從未移動，表示，她從來沒有說過一個謊言。
The clock for Abraham Lincoln has only moved twice.
亞伯拉罕·林肯的時鐘僅僅移動了兩次。
He only told two lies in his life.
在他的生命中，他只說了兩個謊言。
Hillary asked ''Where is Bill's clock?''
。希拉蕊問“ 比爾的時鐘在哪裡？
St. Peter replied, ''Jesus has it in his office... he's using it as a ceiling fan.'''
聖彼得回答說，“耶穌把它放在他的辦公室...... 他用它作為一個吊扇。'
(含意:比爾·克林頓說太多謊, 時針分針走太快可吹風了)